It's interesting how as soon as you think you're doing well and are walking steadily on a smooth path, you suddenly find yourself sprawled out on the rocky face of a mountain. This description isn't literal for me (well it could be =), but it depicts how I have felt very recently. I think I had become familiar with my surroundings and was able to navigate through daily life pretty well, but when I was placed in a new location, with a new routine and unexpected situations, I have seen that I did not walk things out as I should have. I was less of an encourager, I was less eager to serve, I was quicker to judge, I was quicker to anger, I was quicker to pride. Though I do believe that God's grace sustained me through many instances, I did not embrace it as I should have. I believe that in many ways I completely went against 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

I lacked love last week because I sometimes lacked patience and kindness; I lacked love because I'm sure I was arrogant and rude; I lacked love because I know there were instances where I wanted my own way; I lacked love because I became irritable and resentful; I lacked love by being passive about certain things and not seeking after truth hard enough; I lacked love when I didn't bear all things, believe all things, hope in all things and endure all things. My heart is saddened when I consider the many ways I have failed, but I know that God is faithful and is continuing His amazing work in each one of us as He promises. All I can do now is seek after Him harder and pursue the kind of love in 1 Corinthians until it is effortlessly pouring out of me and blessing others. My desire is to be Christ to others and glorify the Lord in all that I do. I am deeply grateful for all the precious brothers and sisters the Lord has blessed me with and how the Lord has used them to reveal things in my life. My prayer for the future is that I will be able to beautifully portray the verse in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

"We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself." - Romans 15:1-3

~Heavenly Father, you are so patient with me and my numerous failings. Help me to grow to be more like you as I walk out my days on this earth. Help me to demonstrate the kind of love that you have called me to and help me desire the things above more than the things of this world. Thank you for Your sustaining grace and for continuing Your work of sanctification in me. May You be glorified and others be blessed through my life. Amen~

-Lana-